Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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