There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
