seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Randomize
