oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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