So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
