when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
