We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
