so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
