That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
