just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
