i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
