then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
