A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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