is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He kissed a someone with a penis
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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