My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I didn't notice because vodka
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
