the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
