If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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