Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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