I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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