oh god the rape fog is back!
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He? As in you personified your dick?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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