anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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