you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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