shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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