i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
