i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
