OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
