the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
