She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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