she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
