I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
