Whod you bang
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
This is the high leading the old right now
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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