Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
