what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
