I understand Curling. That high.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
