I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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