I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
