The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
