then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
All the doctor said was why
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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