I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
