So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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