My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
