My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
