I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Randomize
