I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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