Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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