kristin has been a bad kristin
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
