I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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