So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
