yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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