Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you

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(716): View more from New York

And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

he told me I talked like a deaf person

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins

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(515): View more from Iowa

then she stuck her tongue in my ass

(1-515): View more from Iowa

I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?

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(503): View more from Oregon

And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....

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(240): View more from Maryland

I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.

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(360): View more from Washington

I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.

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